Going Sailing

August 30, 2009

My son got married yesterday! And yes, I did cry, but no snot-bubbles. Barefoot on a beach, the carnelian and azure of the water behind them and the mountains proclaiming Gods' power and might surrounding them. It was a moment I will always remember and hold close to my heart. The two of them have learned some powerful lessons of life and love in the past three years, and the values of trials.

"Others went out on the sea in ships; they were merchants on the mighty waters. They saw the works of the Lord, His wonderful deeds in the deep." (PS 107:23-24)

The person who has not learned that every wind that blows can be used to guide us toward heaven has certainly not mastered the art of sailing, and is nothing more than an apprentice. In fact, the only thing that helps no one is a dead calm. Every wind that blows, from every direction, may help us toward the port of Heaven.

So seek only this; to stay well out to sea - and then have no fear of stormy winds. May our prayer be that of an old English sea-farer. "Oh Lord, send us into the deep waters of the sea, for we are so close to the shore that even a small breeze from the devil could break our ship to pieces on the rocks."

Remember that faith reaches its greatest strength while in the middle of trials, and confidence in the flesh and complacency will never endure testing. Fair weather faith is not faith at all.

On Prayer

"The world is full of so-called prayer warriors who are prayer-ignorant. They're full of formulas and programs and advice, peddling techniques for getting what you want from God. Don't fall for that nonsense. This is your Father you are dealing with, and he knows better than you what you need. With a God like this loving you, you can pray very simply. Like this:

Our Father in heaven, Reveal who you are. Set the world right; Do what's best— as above, so below. Keep us alive with three square meals. Keep us forgiven with you and forgiving others. Keep us safe from ourselves and the Devil. You're in charge! You can do anything you want! You're ablaze in beauty! Yes. Yes. Yes." (Matt 6:7-13 TM)

A diagnosis of colorectal cancer has recently brought me to my knees, and taught me some valuable lessons about prayer. I have also developed a new appreciation for Him. I have always believed that God, who hears all prayers, said "yes" to some, "no" to others, and "maybe, but not now" to the rest.

No prayer goes unanswered. To the very degree it is fervently held as truth, to that degree will it be made manifest in my experience. It is not God's function to create, or uncreate, the circumstance or conditions of my life. He created me, in His image and likeness. I have created the rest, through the power He gave each of us, free will. In this sense, my will for me is God's will for me.

If I beg and supplicate, it stands to reason that there is a smaller chance that I will experience what I think I am asking for. It seems to me that the correct prayer is one of gratitude for what he has already done. And gratitude cannot be used as a tool to manipulate God.

I get caught up in the outcome of my prayers, and forget that to some degree at least, God is not concerned about this outcome. This is because the ultimate outcome is already assured. It is doubt about the ultimate outcome that created my greatest enemy, fear. If I doubt the outcome, I must doubt God. And if I doubt God then I must live in fear and shame my entire life. If I doubt God's intentions, and God's ability to produce the ultimate result, then how can I ever relax? How can I ever truly find peace?

How I Love

I don't love you as if you were a rose,
a precious stone, or a favorite food.
I love you as one loves something more obscure,
secretly, between life and soul.
I love you as a plant that does not bloom
but carries the light of those flowers hidden within itself.
And thanks to your love, the scent that arose within
still lives dimly within my body.
I love you without knowing how,
or when, or from where;
I love you directly, without problems or pride.
I love you like this because
I do not know any other way to love,
except in this form in which I am not,
nor are you,
So close that your hand upon my chest is mine,
So close that your eyes close with my dreams.

My Trembling Pen

Poetic whispers of a kiss

to set my lips afire -

to send my pen trembling

across this open page.

I would touch you with desire,

with the flames of my confession

as such longing for your mystery

entices me, Imbibe!

As I sprawl across these sheets

lying naked and exposed,

I invite you to explore

the hidden mystery of my soul.

Scar me with the traces

of your poetic pen.

Endow me with the pleasures where -

the trembling thus began.