Trust

Build a little fence of trust
Around today;
Fill the space with loving work
And therein stay.
Look not through the protective rails
Upon tomorrow;
God will help you bear what comes
Of joy and sorrow.
- Mary Butts

Learning to talk with God about everything in my life has been a big step and leap of faith. I have learned to do this to free myself of the confusion, conflict and cares that fill my world today. Anytime I am preparing to do something, undergoing a trial, or simply pursuing my everyday life I try to tell Him about it. If I acquaint Him with it, even if I burden Him with it, I can put the matter behind me.

But I am finding it is impossible to "commit [my] way to the Lord" unless my way meets with His approval. It can only be done through extreme faith, for if I have even the slightest reservations that my way is not His way, faith will refuse to have anything to do with it.

Also, my committing my way to Him must be complete and continuous, not an isolated incident or action. No matter what form His guidance takes, no matter how contrary to my desires, no matter how close to the edge His way leads me, I can't snatch the controls back from His hands.

Am I willing to submit all my ways to His approval, to allow Him to pass judgment on them? There is nothing any Christian needs to more closely examine than his own beliefs, views and habits. We become accustomed to taking God's divine approval for granted. I think that is why some Christians are so anxious and fearful. They have not committed their entire way to Him. They grab the reins back in impatience or a lust for what the world offers.

I need to remind myself that His forgiveness does not mean His approval. I need to listen to that "still, small voice" that acts to convict me when my actions are incongruent with my beliefs. If His Word tells me what I am doing is wrong I have no business asking for repeated forgiveness. I should simply stew in my discomfort until I am actually ready to repent of my behavior and commit everything to Him. And there are truly very few gray areas.