Independence and Insignificance

"When they started running low on wine at the wedding banquet, Jesus' mother told him, 'They're just about out of wine.'" (Jn 2:3 TM)

What is it that causes me to think of prayer as the last option rather than the first? Or more correctly stated, what blocks me from immediately going to prayer when I am hurt, tempted or disturbed? Two reasons spring to mind: feelings of independence and feelings of insignificance.

At times I am independent. I think I am big enough to solve my own problems. I take the training wheels off my bike and set off on my own. Other times I don't feel so independent; I feel insignificant. "Sure, Mary can take her problems to Jesus. She's His mother. Besides, He's tired of hearing about my problems." But this is just one more lie from the father of lies. God can live anywhere in the universe, yet He chooses to live in my heart. "Because he delights in me, he saved me" (Ps 18:19) The last thing I need worry about is being a nuisance to God.

If I concentrate on what He has asked me to do, my heart, my life, are lighter and happier. In reading the account of Jesus' turning water into wine I finally caught the sequence of events. "Jesus said to the servants, 'Fill the jars with water.' So they filled the jars to the top. Then he said to them, 'Now take some out and give it to the master of the feast.' So they took the water to the master. When he tasted it, the water had become wine." (Jn 2:7-9)

Note that the water became wine after the servants obeyed. What if the servants had refused, not understanding or trusting what Jesus was up to? More to the point, what if I refuse? What if I identify the problem, take it to Jesus, and then refuse to do as He asks? God asks that I take some bold steps. Money is tight, but He asks that I give. I've been hurt, but He asks me to forgive. I can't see His face yet He asks me to pray. He wouldn't ask these if He thought me incapable of them. That's a fact.