It seems forever since I have picked up my pen. I allowed the everyday life I lead to get in the way of exploring my continuing relationship with God. How odd, and how like me to forget just who has given me this precious gift of life, and just what I am to do with it.
"Now Moses was tending the flock of Jethro his father-in-law, the priest of Midian, and he led the flock to the far side of the desert and came to Horeb, the mountain of God. There the Angel of the Lord appeared to him in flames of fire from within a bush." (Ex 3:1,2)
The vision of the Angel of the Lord (in the old testament this generally refers to an appearance by the Lord) came to Moses while he was involved in his everyday work. This is exactly where the Lord delights in giving His revelations. He seeks us traveling an ordinary road, and "...suddenly a light from heaven..." (Acts 9:3) shines on us, or a "...stairway resting on the earth..." (Gen 28:12) can reach from the marketplace to heaven, transforming a life from one of drudgery to one of grace.
Abba, help me to expect You as I travel the ordinary road of life. I am not asking for sensational experiences. I am asking for you to fellowship with me through my everyday work and service, and to be my companion when I take an ordinary journey. And let my humble life be transformed by your presence.
Some Christians think they must always be on the mountaintop of extraordinary joy and revelation, but this is not God's way. Those high spiritual times and wonderful communications with the unseen world are not promised to us, but a life of daily communication with Him is. And it is enough for us, for He will give us those times of exceptional revelation if it is the right thing for us.
Only three disciples were allowed to witness Jesus' transfiguration, the same three who also experienced the darkness of Gethsemane. No one can stay on the mountaintop of favor forever, for there are responsibilities in the valley. The value of the vision, and the accompanying glory is the gift of equipping us for service and endurance.
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Miracles Do Happen
Suddenly an angel of the Lord appeared and a light shone in the cell. He struck Peter on the side and woke him up. "Quick, get up!" he said, and the chains fell off Peter's wrists. (Acts 12:7)
About midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God... Suddenly there was such a violent earthquake that the foundations of the prison were shaken. At once all the prison doors flew open, and everybody's chains came loose. (Acts 16:25-26)
This is the way God works! In our darkest hour, He walks to us across the waves, just as an angel came to Peter's cell as execution day dawned. God has a simplicity about Him that defies my logic. Yet He is much more resourceful than I can imagine. He is more than equal to any circumstance in my life. He may keep me waiting, but He will remember His promise to me and will appear in time to fulfill His sacred Word that cannot be broken.
I live free of regrets today, the prison I created in destroying my marriage through alcohol and drug abuse has been leveled to its foundation. I still ache for her, and what we shared, but it no longer holds me prisoner. That may always remain as the "thorn in my flesh". To see her rise and flourish has been a painful answer to a prayer that God grant her every good thing in life. And maybe He will again present me with the one He meant for me to be with. But wishing things were different has been a chain, now broken by His Holy Spirit guiding me to an unknown future, free from fears and worries about what it holds.
Not knowing what surprises He has in store for me is an exciting challenge. With scarcely 9 months of sobriety I have the honor and privilege of guiding 3 men through the steps, just as my sponsor continues to walk me through them. That the four of us share faith, (I am still working on witnessing to my sponsor) and common experiences helps to keep me strong. But foremost in my mind today remains the knowledge that God, in His providence, has thousands of keys to open thousands of different doors in order to deliver His own, no matter how desperate the situations become. I need only be faithful to do my part, to believe in Him and step out in faith, and place Christ's part on Him and leave it there.
About midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God... Suddenly there was such a violent earthquake that the foundations of the prison were shaken. At once all the prison doors flew open, and everybody's chains came loose. (Acts 16:25-26)
This is the way God works! In our darkest hour, He walks to us across the waves, just as an angel came to Peter's cell as execution day dawned. God has a simplicity about Him that defies my logic. Yet He is much more resourceful than I can imagine. He is more than equal to any circumstance in my life. He may keep me waiting, but He will remember His promise to me and will appear in time to fulfill His sacred Word that cannot be broken.
I live free of regrets today, the prison I created in destroying my marriage through alcohol and drug abuse has been leveled to its foundation. I still ache for her, and what we shared, but it no longer holds me prisoner. That may always remain as the "thorn in my flesh". To see her rise and flourish has been a painful answer to a prayer that God grant her every good thing in life. And maybe He will again present me with the one He meant for me to be with. But wishing things were different has been a chain, now broken by His Holy Spirit guiding me to an unknown future, free from fears and worries about what it holds.
Not knowing what surprises He has in store for me is an exciting challenge. With scarcely 9 months of sobriety I have the honor and privilege of guiding 3 men through the steps, just as my sponsor continues to walk me through them. That the four of us share faith, (I am still working on witnessing to my sponsor) and common experiences helps to keep me strong. But foremost in my mind today remains the knowledge that God, in His providence, has thousands of keys to open thousands of different doors in order to deliver His own, no matter how desperate the situations become. I need only be faithful to do my part, to believe in Him and step out in faith, and place Christ's part on Him and leave it there.
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Less to Say
...You will see neither wind nor rain, yet this valley will be filled with water, and you, your cattle and your other animals will drink. This is an easy thing in the eyes of the Lord... (2 Kings 3:17-18)
Is anything too hard for the Lord? (Gen 18:14)
The phrase from 2 Kings follows some specific instructions delivered by the prophet Elisha and ends with some equally specific promises. Directives and promises: the Lord will graciously provide for His people, but they must respond to His Word in faith and obedience. The preceding verse (v.16) states, This is what the Lord says... His request that we act in faith.
In my own life God has intervened in miraculous ways, and still I balk. For those who follow baseball, the term balk has become another gray area. I can do nothing about baseball, but I can do something about the way I respond to His asking that I step out in faith. Especially since Nothing is too hard for the Lord.
Is anything too hard for the Lord? (Gen 18:14)
The phrase from 2 Kings follows some specific instructions delivered by the prophet Elisha and ends with some equally specific promises. Directives and promises: the Lord will graciously provide for His people, but they must respond to His Word in faith and obedience. The preceding verse (v.16) states, This is what the Lord says... His request that we act in faith.
In my own life God has intervened in miraculous ways, and still I balk. For those who follow baseball, the term balk has become another gray area. I can do nothing about baseball, but I can do something about the way I respond to His asking that I step out in faith. Especially since Nothing is too hard for the Lord.
Thursday, October 8, 2009
My Kerrith Ravine
A dear friend faithfully kept my ramblings penned while in jail, just over a year ago. Re-reading those unmedicated diatribes presents me with a chilling portrait of just how sick I was, but also serves to validate how far I have come. Suffering from a treatable mental illness is OK now, with treatment. I didn't always think so.
But even at the worst of my illness, in jail for months without treatment of any kind, I can see how God had me all along. From June 30, 2008: "Today I was actually able to rise before the morning cacophony and get in my Bible study. Chapters 30-31 of Proverbs, 1 Cor 13, a Psalm and some readings from John and Matthew. Recognized something today from my readings I had not noticed before. While all the Gospels record Peter's denial of Jesus 3 times - only John records Peters' having been restored to fellowship with the Lord.
"Even more poignant is that Jesus ask Peter 3 times 'Simon, son of Jonah, do you love me?' see John 21:15-19, the number of Peter's denials. [My sentence structure and punctuation excused, please] The passage reports that Peter was 'grieved' at being asked 3 times and I find myself identifying with Peter. I do not like to be questioned repeatedly - ESPECIALLY when I am guilty of something. I want to be forgiven without being made to feel guilty, yet that feeling of guilt is what brings on remorse, and remorse is what causes the behavioral change that demonstrates repentance; or at least in my world. I don't know that any notable theologians would agree with those thoughts."
After that passage, my writing disintegrates into some frightening observations of life in jail, much of which I recall with a shudder. But I see, in looking back, that I needed to be still and recover my contact with Him.
1 Kings 17 opens with the prophet Elijah being told to "Hide in the Kerith Ravine." Why hide out? Why be fed by ravens, a none-too-pleasant carrion feeder? And then to have to stay there until "Sometime later the brook dried up"? Elijah would need to look back on the experience to understand the why.
The purpose of my jail time I can't say for certain, but while there I did rediscover the value of alone time with God, and in a discipline of daily reading and prayer. I learned a lot about powerlessness and trust in Him. One way or the other, we must all learn the difference between trusting in the gift and trusting in the Giver. The gift may only last for a season, but the Giver is the only eternal love.
Kerith Ravine was a difficult problem for Elijah until he arrived at Zarephath, and suddenly everything became clear as daylight to him. Gods hard instructions are never His last word to us, for the woes, the waste, and the tears of life belong to its interlude, not its finale.
But even at the worst of my illness, in jail for months without treatment of any kind, I can see how God had me all along. From June 30, 2008: "Today I was actually able to rise before the morning cacophony and get in my Bible study. Chapters 30-31 of Proverbs, 1 Cor 13, a Psalm and some readings from John and Matthew. Recognized something today from my readings I had not noticed before. While all the Gospels record Peter's denial of Jesus 3 times - only John records Peters' having been restored to fellowship with the Lord.
"Even more poignant is that Jesus ask Peter 3 times 'Simon, son of Jonah, do you love me?' see John 21:15-19, the number of Peter's denials. [My sentence structure and punctuation excused, please] The passage reports that Peter was 'grieved' at being asked 3 times and I find myself identifying with Peter. I do not like to be questioned repeatedly - ESPECIALLY when I am guilty of something. I want to be forgiven without being made to feel guilty, yet that feeling of guilt is what brings on remorse, and remorse is what causes the behavioral change that demonstrates repentance; or at least in my world. I don't know that any notable theologians would agree with those thoughts."
After that passage, my writing disintegrates into some frightening observations of life in jail, much of which I recall with a shudder. But I see, in looking back, that I needed to be still and recover my contact with Him.
1 Kings 17 opens with the prophet Elijah being told to "Hide in the Kerith Ravine." Why hide out? Why be fed by ravens, a none-too-pleasant carrion feeder? And then to have to stay there until "Sometime later the brook dried up"? Elijah would need to look back on the experience to understand the why.
The purpose of my jail time I can't say for certain, but while there I did rediscover the value of alone time with God, and in a discipline of daily reading and prayer. I learned a lot about powerlessness and trust in Him. One way or the other, we must all learn the difference between trusting in the gift and trusting in the Giver. The gift may only last for a season, but the Giver is the only eternal love.
Kerith Ravine was a difficult problem for Elijah until he arrived at Zarephath, and suddenly everything became clear as daylight to him. Gods hard instructions are never His last word to us, for the woes, the waste, and the tears of life belong to its interlude, not its finale.
Friday, October 2, 2009
"He touched their eyes and said, 'Become what you believe.'" (Matt 9:29 TM)
Is there a difference between faith and belief? Jesus told these men they could be what they believed. What do I believe? I believe I am saved. My eternity is secured in the arms of my Savior. I believe I am forgiven; this going hand-in-hand with salvation, of course. But what else do I truly believe? Or more to the point, where does my unbelief, my doubt, lie?
"Immediately the boys father exclaimed, 'I do believe; help me with my unbelief!'" (Mark 9:24 NIV) In the exchange preceeding this passage, Jesus had just told a sick boy's father that there is no room for "if", or doubt, in a believers' life. Yet many have plagued me, do so still. And I consider myself a believer. "Become what you believe," or "According to your faith will it be done to you, (NIV)" both seem to suggest that doubts about our Lords' power and authority over everything led, or at least contributed, to my failures as a husband, a father, a recovering person and in so many other areas of my life. In the ensuing unmanageability, these areas of my life were removed from me. But I need to look at those words again.
"According to your faith will it be done to you" does not say in proportion to your faith. A better understanding would be to say Because you have faith it will be so. Faith can not be used as a tool to manipulate God. It would be futile to think that God would not see through the logic of saying, "The more you give me the more faith I will have."
True faith allows the surrender of my life to God, not just selected areas of it. Being human, and possessed of a vicious self-will, I get in my own way. The faith I have today is more mature than the faith I had when I was younger. It is more forgiving, accepting, generous, trusting, serving, thoughtful, reverent, worshipful, joyful, praising, and human. It is no longer lip-service to a concept, but it more resembles a child-like belief that I serve a God who doesn't want me to fail any more than I must in order to develop my character. And His faith in me makes me stronger.
Is there a difference between faith and belief? Jesus told these men they could be what they believed. What do I believe? I believe I am saved. My eternity is secured in the arms of my Savior. I believe I am forgiven; this going hand-in-hand with salvation, of course. But what else do I truly believe? Or more to the point, where does my unbelief, my doubt, lie?
"Immediately the boys father exclaimed, 'I do believe; help me with my unbelief!'" (Mark 9:24 NIV) In the exchange preceeding this passage, Jesus had just told a sick boy's father that there is no room for "if", or doubt, in a believers' life. Yet many have plagued me, do so still. And I consider myself a believer. "Become what you believe," or "According to your faith will it be done to you, (NIV)" both seem to suggest that doubts about our Lords' power and authority over everything led, or at least contributed, to my failures as a husband, a father, a recovering person and in so many other areas of my life. In the ensuing unmanageability, these areas of my life were removed from me. But I need to look at those words again.
"According to your faith will it be done to you" does not say in proportion to your faith. A better understanding would be to say Because you have faith it will be so. Faith can not be used as a tool to manipulate God. It would be futile to think that God would not see through the logic of saying, "The more you give me the more faith I will have."
True faith allows the surrender of my life to God, not just selected areas of it. Being human, and possessed of a vicious self-will, I get in my own way. The faith I have today is more mature than the faith I had when I was younger. It is more forgiving, accepting, generous, trusting, serving, thoughtful, reverent, worshipful, joyful, praising, and human. It is no longer lip-service to a concept, but it more resembles a child-like belief that I serve a God who doesn't want me to fail any more than I must in order to develop my character. And His faith in me makes me stronger.
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